The penny drops...as Glen would put it

This doesn't sound like new news but some days it hits me....we actually live in India.  This is not a quick trip, no 3 month stint.  Oh no, we're here for quite some time.  And slowly this realization begins to sink in.  For 18 months there will be no easy transactions, no driving, no grocery stores like I'm used to.  For 18 months I will struggle with paying bills by going to the company in which I owe money, I will have my driver take me everywhere and feel guilty that he has to sit there and wait for hours while I eat at a fancy restaurant, and I will get my groceries at 3 different markets.  I'm adjusting to this new life.  What can I say other than it's different.  I'm used to convenience and this country is anything but convenient.  It's teaching me new levels of patience and tolerance.  I'm trying not to be ethnocentric.  Not everybody has to operate the way I want them to or the way I think they should.  I'm getting used to the pollution...the air pollution and the noise pollution.  I'm getting used to be stared at like I'm an alien.  I'm getting used to people barging in front of me while I'm in line.  I didn't know I could use my elbows as a weapon.  I'm getting used to seeing extreme poverty.  But I'm not getting used to the ache it causes in my heart.  I'm getting used to paying for overpriced imports if I want some of my creature comforts.  I'm used to getting them close to the expiration date.  I'm getting used to the frustration of not finding half of the things I need, want, or miss.  But I'm not getting used to not having my Velveeta Shells & Cheese (my comfort food) or normal absorbancy tampons.  Yup, you heard it here first folks.    

I'm NOT getting used to missing my friends and family.  That is something that never goes away.  Sometimes I feel a little forgotten...like everybody's life just goes on...without me.  And of course it should.  I just feel like I'm less and less a part of it all.  Which gives me more resolve to try harder to stay present in peoples lives.  It's even more difficult now that the holidays are coming up.  I guess it's all a part of this experience. 

It's slowly getting easier here.  I'm practicing yoga 2 or 3 times a week.  It's helping me find my center.  I finally found an orphanage that I love and will continue to volunteer at every Tuesday.  I will be 'teaching' English...which just means I'll be having conversation with the kids so they can practice their English.  I will also be teaching basic math.  Who ever thought I would be teaching math?  I suck at it.  Who knows how I got an 'A' in College Statistics!!  They also let me take 2 or 3 kids at a time to a nearby park.  We play on swings and slides.  Yesterday we got scared away by a monkey.  So we ran home in a fit.  Didn't know I'd be so frightened by a monkey.  I also joined a volleyball club.  I haven't played for 16 years and there's nothing like feeling like an ol' geezer on the court but boy...it is so much fun...and painful. 

It has finally cooled off here to more reasonable temperatures.  It's in the high 70's F, that's around 21 degrees C for you British folk.  I've finally been able to wear jeans and long sleeve t's.  It drizzles a bit every day now.  I have to wear house slippers because our marble floors get so cold at night.  I can't believe we exited one season and entered another.  We're finally starting to see the 'seasons' here. 

This experience has brought Glen and I closer together.  We rely on each other for empathy and support because it seems we're the only two that really knows what it's like to be here.  We recently celebrated a year of knowing each other.  One year may not seem too long but if you consider that we moved in together after a little more than 2 months and got engaged at 5 months....then one year feels like a long time.  And we're proud of our one year.  We talked about how much we've packed into it and how it feels like a lifetime of memories already.  We finally feel like we have a little bit of substantial history to our relationship.  And through all of the moments that I feel vulnerable here, it's nice to have my best friend beside me.

I'm not sure what's in store for us here or what we're supposed to learn.  But we're on this path of self-discovery together and through the good and the seemingly bad...it's been an experience I wouldn't change for the world.

Conflicted

If you know me then you know how in love I am with my dog Kona.  She's a crazy Bernese Mountain Dog that I had to leave back in Colorado.  Glen and I want her here with us but her coat is suited to cool weather and India gets well over 100 degrees (F) for half of the year.  The selfish part of me desperately wants her back as I think about her and miss her more and more each day.  It sucks not having her around.  But it is in her best interest to stay where she's at.  So it bothers me to think that I would pick up another dog here in India when I have a perfectly cute one at home.  The thing is that India has hundreds of stray dogs (and stray kids...but don't get me started).  I am an animal lover.  I worked at an animal hospital for 8 years prior to becoming a nurse.  I love dogs.  I will always have one.  I'm lucky that Glen loves them too.  He even treats Kona like his own child...their relationship is quite adorable.  My issue is that when I see a stray...as I do every day...I want to feed it and wash it and cuddle it.  But it would be unrealistic to do that for every. single. dog. there is out there.  So I've been hesitant.  


There is one particular pooch who got my attention earlier in the week.  I was out shopping and there she was...this tiny little thing with the sweetest brown eyes.  She just walked right up to me...tail wagging and all.  I couldn't help but wonder where her litter mates were.  Couldn't help worrying about her health...where is she going to get her next meal, her next drink of water?  I honestly don't know how they survive on eating trash and scraps.  There are SO MANY stray dogs out there competing for food with the cows.  I wonder what their life span is.  It breaks my heart.  I've seen this sweet thing twice this week now.  I've taken photos and sent them to Glen.  He agrees...she's stinkin' cute.  But I have to be practical.  Right?  She could already have a million things wrong with her.  Worms.  Parasites.  Rabies even.  Even if I nursed her to health and fattened her up I would still have to think about her future.  We live on the 3rd floor.  It would be a pain to run her down 7 flights of stairs every time she had to potty.  We go on trips.  Who would watch her?  Would Kona get jealous when we're all reunited?  How could I pick up this one and not the other ones?  Ugh, I'm so conflicted.

Tell me that doesn't tug on your heartstrings

   

Trip of a lifetime

We decided long ago that in order to stay sane in India, we would have to take enriching trips outside of India.  India is a beautiful/ugly country just like any other.  But it is very difficult to live here.  Since we are in Asia we booked a trip to Taiwan to meet my family.  This side of my family is unknown to me.  My Mom left Taiwan when she was in her early twenties.  She fled with my American father to escape her physically abusive father.  But true to being an Asian, she always sent money home...never to forget where she came from.  My Mom brought my sister and I to Taiwan when we were little...I was only 2 years old and have no recollection...but never again since.  She essentially shielded us from knowing that side of her.  In the U.S. she decided she wanted us to have a good education and be raised "American".  That meant we saw little of her Buddhist teachings and she didn't teach us her language.  Which, is all sad to me now because I feel like I missed out on so much.  It is so valuable to be bilingual these days.  And to be part of another culture that isn't so American....well, I missed out on 7 aunties and uncles and numerous cousins.  And I feel like there's this communication barrier between me and my own mother.  So it's been a dream of mine to get to know that side of my family regardless of the language barrier.  I knew I'd find a way.  With Glen's encouragement I contacted a calabash cousin that I grew up with in Oak Harbor, who now lives in Taiwan.  I hadn't spoken to him in 20 years so I hoped he remembered me.  Thank goodness he did.  And he was more than willing to act as translator between me and my family.  I have so much respect and admiration for Michael.  He is busy running a company and raising a family yet he found the time to meet with me and my family and have dinner.  It was such a selfless act of kindness and something I will remember for the rest of my life.  Without him the meeting wouldn't have been possible.

Anyways...meeting my Grandma (Ama) was a dream fulfiilled.  We walked up to her apartment and she just stood in her bedroom doorway giggling.  All dressed up to go out to dinner with us.  I couldn't help but cry when I hugged her.  She didn't have the same sentiment though and just kept giggling.  I asked Michael why on earth she was doing that and he said she said that I was so (freakishly) tall...she couldn't get over it.  I guess I wanted her to break down like I did.....it had been a lifetime since I saw her last.  But I guess from her perspective she has so many grandchildren that I was just another one.  I thought maybe I'd be unique because I was the only American one...that she might be just a little more curious about me.  But she was just happy to see me.  She said she remembered me at 2 years old crawling on the same furniture in her living room.  I wished I remembered.  My uncle took us to dinner.  There were about 10 of us.  I met 2 uncles and their wives, a cousin and his wife.  It was a bit overwhelming.  They were all so sweet.  My uncles kept raising toasts to us...we were pretty tipsy by the end of the evening.  Grandma kept burping...guess that's a good sign the food is good.  Long story short, I'm still processing it all.  Feeling a little more fulfilled than I did when I started the trip.

My 84 year old Ama

I met 2 uncles, their wives, a cousin and his wife as well

Our flight to Taiwan involved a stop in Hong Kong so we decided to stay a few nights.  And let me tell you Hong Kong is such an awesome city.  It would be so easy to live there.  I highly recommend going there if you haven't already.  We met Glen's friend Gareth and his gorgeous wife Shizuka.  It was awesome getting to know another little part of Glen.  After HK and Taiwan we wanted some R & R so we stayed in Boracay in the Phillipines.  it is a little known place but one of the worlds 10 most beautiful beaches.  The weather and water were phenomenal.  I love the local food.  Glen and I got some much needed time together that didn't include talking about the house or stress at work.  I am loving my life.  I have a wonderful, supportive man by my side and nothing is better than that.  I'm a lucky girl.

Hong Kong skyline

The photo doesn't do it justice

Shizuka, Gareth, & Glen after a night of food and beer

Clear blue waters of Boracay...paradise!

Loving life!