Masochism

It's really hard to retell the experience here.  I don't even know what I really want to say right now.  Anything and everything I come up with feels so inadequate.  You really have to come see it and experience it for yourself.  Glen's lovely mum is the only one that has an idea.  I want to write something meaningful but I find all that comes to mind is blase boring shit.  There is so much about India that I don't know and never will.  Expats here either love it or hate it.  People pay tons of money to come to this spiritual land to 'find themselves'.  And I'm here.  Living it.  Doing it.  But I don't feel the least bit enlightened.  Grown, sure but not enlightened.  I am in awe.  I am in disgust.  I am ambivalent.  I am inspired.  I am pissed.  I don't care.  I want more.  There was life before India, which was easy and I knew how to do it.  Then there is life in India and instead of resisting it I am learning to let go and be a part of it.  No matter how you look at it, India changes you.  She breaks you down and makes you learn another way and I'm just trusting the experience....however hellish it might feel sometimes.  I don't have a whole lot more to add in terms of reflection, analysis, story, or narrative so I'll just share with you a few new things India... 



~ the power outages, they don't stop.  Not even when you are blow drying your hair.


~ the honking doesn't stop


~ the cows!  I haven't gotten used to them walking in the middle of the road.


~ the poverty.  At almost every traffic light there is someone banging on my car window begging for money.  You're not supposed to give them money but today I did...to a man that had obviously lost his entire arm.  It made me so sad.

~  when relaying numbers, instead of saying 88OO (eight eight zero zero), I now say double eight, double zero etc.


~ when crossing the street it is necessary to say a short prayer and then count your toes after you've successfully made it across...it's like taking life into your own hands


~ instead of moving house or offices, people shift houses or offices.  Glen shifted offices a few weeks ago


~ I go to yoga, come home and my house is clean.  It's MAGIC!  


~  When you are trying to get information from someone or try to understand what they want you say "tell me".  


~ you cannot leave voicemail here which is a curse and a blessing.  I have become a mad texter  (or would that be sms-er?)


~  oh and it's already 108 degrees F (42 degrees C).  Yuck.


Yes, I'll admit it was my crazy idea to come here and I will also say I don't regret it.  I'm just living it and learning to let go.  You discover who you are when you're real far from home.  Love it or hate it.