I was sitting back getting an 8 dollar pedicure today, reading a magazine article that struck home with me. It was about a woman who chose to go bald by choice and how she was perceived by people because of it. A few years back while I was still in nursing school I shaved my head...bald. Like Bic razor blade bald. Decades worth of vanity on the kitchen floor. It was one of the most liberating things I have ever done for myself. But it was met with equal excitement by some 'for being so brave to try to pull something like that off' to sheer horror (by my mom). Acquaintances thought I was battling cancer and took pity on me. Others grudgingly admired my misplaced bravado.
A bald woman raises eyebrows. As if it was the only indication of my state of my mind. Let's not forget that Britney Spears (who is indeed a whack job in my opinion) shaved her head only a month after me. Yes, I did it first and thanks Britney for giving strong females a bad name! For me, it was a personal choice. A choice to challenge my prettiness. (Who gives a shit if I'm pretty? I'm smart too don'tcha know?) A choice to challenge convention and traditional modes of behavior. A literal shedding of sorts as I had just gone through a divorce and this was my way of releasing old ways. Plus I had turned 30 that year and I wanted a fresh start. Being bald made me vulnerable to put my inner self out there and at the end I was able to find out who I really was. It gave me courage. Yes, it took me all of my 20's to sort some major things out. That's not a bad thing when you have grown up in a broken, not-so-supportive family. I think I'm doing pretty darn good. What I've gained is a lifetime of invaluable lessons. I know who I am. I know what I want. Don't fuck with me. Sometimes a woman has no idea what freedom could mean unless she stumbles onto it. But I've also learned that society perceives women without a head full of hair as a questionable phenomenon. So be it. I will always be someone who goes against the grain....at least a little bit ;-)
A bald woman raises eyebrows. As if it was the only indication of my state of my mind. Let's not forget that Britney Spears (who is indeed a whack job in my opinion) shaved her head only a month after me. Yes, I did it first and thanks Britney for giving strong females a bad name! For me, it was a personal choice. A choice to challenge my prettiness. (Who gives a shit if I'm pretty? I'm smart too don'tcha know?) A choice to challenge convention and traditional modes of behavior. A literal shedding of sorts as I had just gone through a divorce and this was my way of releasing old ways. Plus I had turned 30 that year and I wanted a fresh start. Being bald made me vulnerable to put my inner self out there and at the end I was able to find out who I really was. It gave me courage. Yes, it took me all of my 20's to sort some major things out. That's not a bad thing when you have grown up in a broken, not-so-supportive family. I think I'm doing pretty darn good. What I've gained is a lifetime of invaluable lessons. I know who I am. I know what I want. Don't fuck with me. Sometimes a woman has no idea what freedom could mean unless she stumbles onto it. But I've also learned that society perceives women without a head full of hair as a questionable phenomenon. So be it. I will always be someone who goes against the grain....at least a little bit ;-)
Gah! Couldn't get my last comment to post...
ReplyDeleteGreat post and thank you for commenting on mine. I was in a "woe is me" mindset when I wrote and am eternally grateful for wonderful friends that can pull me out of a funk and get me back up on the horse. :)
Ok I swear this wasn't here earlier. Forget my wierd facebook message. EHEM.
ReplyDeleteYour bald head was badass and I have an insurmountable amount of respect for you for getting rid of your hair. That was an amazing feat for an ego. What a glorious fresh start.
I think you are pretty stinking cool. Hair or not.