Hiccups of thought...

Random thoughts and goings on.  In no particular order...


~ After living here for 5 months I figured out that there must be a way to get more water pressure.  Sure enough...at the flick of a light switch, we have it.  I've sacrificed long, dribbly warm showers for fast, hot ones.


~ I've noticed a 2 months shedding period where I was losing a lot of hair.  Seriously scary when you can imagine I've been trying to grow my hair out for our wedding in July.   Don't worry, I'm not bald.  New gray hair is sprouting up everywhere.  Much to my relief I've talked to some girlfriends who experienced the same thing at the same time.  We are wondering if it is due to the water and air quality here, which apparently was winning the battle against the 'strength-infusing' shampoo I brought back from England.  I'm holding my breath as the shedding seems to have slowed down remarkably.  


~ I spent 40,000 rupees on household furnishings last month.  Sorry, but I left my life back in Denver and a girl needs pillows on the couch, candles, sharp knives, and a hand blender.  No sense in making this house feel temporary.  Even though it is, we can take this stuff with us to our next post.  I will not sacrifice my house not feeling like a home.


~ India does not know how to be quiet.  I hear cars honking all day and wedding music and fireworks all night.  They are demolishing the house next door by hand.  It's been nothing but sledgehammers for 2 weeks.  And I can only assume that after they've cleared it out that they will be spending the next year rebuilding.  Oh joy.  I love the sound of construction.


~ Our staff has become our little charity project.  In the last 2 months they have been in a car wreck, lost a family member due to a stroke, and now one of their parents has cancer and I'm afraid she won't live long.  They spent their savings on the car wreck (no one was badly hurt) so I started to worry about their finances.  It's hard to live with knowing we are their employers.  We are responsible for how much they get.  But I also know what they spend in rent and for their daughter's school.  And what I do know is that there is no money left over for basic necessities like food.  So they rely on their parents to relieve their financial shortcomings.  Their parents don't make much money so now I know everyone is living meagerly.  So we've tried to do little things to help relieve the pressure.  Our driver's phone was old so we bought him a new one.  His daughter was learning computers at school and they were saving up to get her one but then the accident happened.  I am a firm believer in education so I donated my old laptop to her in hopes that she can use it for school.  They're only little material things but they mean a world of difference for them.  They haven't asked for money but I feel like giving it to them....because compared to them, we have so much.    At least I would know where the money would be going.   And you can't imagine the awkwardness I feel when buying some frivolous, material item for the house when I know they live with so much less.  I think this is something I will constantly struggle with.


~ On a personal note, we have briefly and as thoroughly as we can have explored adoption in India.  It is not as easy as you'd think.  With heavy hearts we have nearly abandoned this idea (for the time being) as it is nearly impossible for us for several reasons which I won't discuss here.  The worst part is knowing that we having a loving home to provide and someone we know that needs one and we're not allowed to give it to her.


~ I can pull off a headstand in yoga class.  This is quite a physical feat for this lanky girl.  Inversions do not come easily but it's nice to have a new perspective of the world upside down.  I have newfound physical and inner strength.


~ I think I'm going to join the American Club at the American Embassy.  It has a gym, Olympic-sized swimming pool (score!), a bowling alley, an awesome restaurant where I can get some of my favorite foods (burgers and pho), and a huge network of people.  Funny because many non-American's are members and I'm not.  I'm going to have to change that. 


~  I still smile when I see a cow on the street.


~ I'm dying to go to a music festival and dance my ass off.


~ We bought a TV and now have cable at our fingertips.  I worry that this will reduce chat time and real life experiences but it's nice to zone out and catch up on Top Gear and TLC.


~ I'm almost ashamed to admit I'm on Facebook nearly every day.  Back in the states I would casually peek at it a few times a week but now I find I am constantly updating my status and checking in to see what people are doing.  I think I'm afraid to miss out on my friends back home so I am fighting to stay current in their lives.  I don't want to be forgotten.


~ Skype.  I love Skype!  The biggest problem is time coordination as we are half a world ahead...I just have to get over my vanity and let people see me when I first wake up.  Despite the frequent gaps in time and pixelation, it has done wonders for my happiness.  In 2 weeks I saw 3 friends and 2 family members.  You have no idea the high it gives me to see them!  It has really sustained me through the times when I miss people so much it aches.  Physically aches.  


~ The weather has been cool since December.  This has been the best time to travel because it is not sweltering hot.  We've been to Shimla and Varanasi.  This weekend we will go to Agra to view the Taj Mahal.  Later this month I'm going with a friend to see the Golden Temple in Amritsar.  Then Glen and I are going to go to Kolkata to see a doctor friend of mine from back home, who happens to be working in Kolkata for a few months.  At the end of the month is Holi, the Festival of Colors.  We will be celebrating with our Indian friends...I'm quite looking forward to the craziness!!  Next month is the much anticipated trek in the Himalayas for our birthdays!  


~ I really hope people can visit us next winter.  Seriously, if you are reading this...consider it...December through February are great times to be in India.  We have a guest bedroom and would love the company.


~ We made a good friend but he's since gone back home to Australia.  He was our catalyst to our social life here in Delhi and he is missed.  Though no one will replace his energy we have manifested new friends.  Expat life is transitory and people are always coming and going.


~ I'm pretty sure I saw a family of 5 on a motorcycle.  I'm pretty sure I've counted up to 10 people in an auto-rickshaw.


~  The world is a man's toilet.


~ Pedicures are cheap.  About 8 bucks.


~ We're contemplating becoming vegetarians for a month to see how our bodies feel.


~ Fruit smoothie is my middle name.  It's the only way for me to get all of my fruit/veggie quota for the day.  Ahhh..nutrition!


~ I love chai.  My cleaner/cook makes it for me every M, W, F when I come home from yoga.  When I make it, it doesn't taste the same.  I am spoiled. 


~  There's a westernized mall here which is my little retreat to feel a little like home.


~ I make our security guard Suraj laugh.  Not intentionally.  But part of his job is to bring me the mail (post), which is usually a bill to which I frown at.  He apparently finds this amusing.


~ I miss my dog Kona so much it brings me to tears to look at her photos.  Out of nowhere...an ocean of tears.  I really want another dog, not to replace her (we'll be getting her back in a years time) but to have a buddy to hang out with while Glen is at work all day.  I'd love to rescue an Indian mutt but I am also thinking that it would be great to have a small dog as a matter of convenience.  I am typically a big dog lover but a little one would be so easy to take care of here.  I love Frenchies but Glen can't stand them.  They are so funny looking it would be great to get a laugh every day!  That or a weiner dog.  They both have such great personalities.   Glen wants either a chocolate lab or a weimaraner as our next dog.  Between an Indian rescue mutt, a wee little companion for me, or a hyper dog for Glen (truthfully, he gets to choose the next dog)...I am doubtful we will get any of them here.  Sadface.  


~  I still find it strange that we can see a doctor the same day we fall ill and it only cost 10 bucks.  We keep a copy of the medical record, the doctor does not.  I also still find it strange that we can walk up to a chemist and ask for practically any medication under the sun and it's cheap. 


~ Glen is doing great at work.  The US workday is from about 8-5.  The Indian workday is around 10-7.  Communications styles are different here and he's learning to adjust.  I think through all his frustrations and challenges it is making him a better boss.  But if you want to hear the details, you'll have to ask him.


~ I'm loving the blogging community.  It's new to me as of 6 months ago.  I love reading posts by other friends.  It helps give me some insight into their lives, their thoughts, their experiences and I love being a part of it all.  I love feeling connected.


~ You may or may not have noticed that now I am writing in gray instead of purple or pink.  The original agreement was that I would post in pink and Glen would post in blue.  But as we have noticed, Glen doesn't post so I am taking over.  I have been having fun fiddling with fonts and layouts.  I feel quite limited in what they have to offer but I've finally settled on something I sort of like within the confines of templates.  Posting photos and videos still aggravates me...they don't make it easy!  Argh!  


~ Wedding plans are coming along nicely.  My dress is due to arrive this month and I am over the moon about it.  It's not what I thought I would want to wear but once I put it on, there was no question it was the right dress.  And I found a great tailor so we have Glen's suit all ready to go.  Am getting more and more excited for the big day!  Just a few more details to finalize and we'll be ready.  There's been a little family drama about the whole thing and for a while I was letting it get to me.  Long story short, our friends and families are scattered between 2 countries, there is simply no way to have a party in one central place where no one will have to travel.  As it is, people are coming from several states within the US and from several different countries around the world.  But fact of the matter is, those that want to be there, will be there.  We can't make everyone happy, we just hope that our celebration of love is enough to make people want to be there.  If it's not, then no worries.  I refuse to let it bother me any more.


~ I am learning things about being an expat.  It's a huge community and you need to involve yourself in it.  I was chatting with a girlfriend yesterday and she brought up a few rules to living abroad that I totally agree with and have added a few:


1. Find friends quickly, expat friends and local friends.  Only they know what you are truly going through.  You can tell your friends back home but they will never totally understand until they have been through this experience themselves.  It is so mind-boggling it makes you question your sanity.  Your friends will remind you that you are indeed (mostly) normal.  
2.  Do the things you would do back home.  Find a book club, a group to play tennis with, take cooking classes or dance classes etc.  Mine has become yoga and pick-up volleyball.
3.  Develop a routine.  This is especially important when you are not working.  It grounds you.
4.  Start journaling.  A lot of this stuff doesn't happen back home.  This is an experience to remember, you don't want to forget all the nitty gritty details!  
5.  Expand your mind.  If you thought you were flexible before...well you are seriously going to have to bend a little more to live in this country.  Doing anything here is frustrating on some level.  This is a very inefficient and corrupt country.  Don't try to change it, it will get you no where.  Instead change how you think about it and accept that things are done differently.  Just because I think my way is better, doesn't mean everyone should think the same thing...this is something that I am confronted with on a daily basis.  Just because I think kids should be in seatbelts, not sitting on their mothers laps in the front seat of a car packed with 20 other family members, doesn't mean I'm right.  I'm pretty sure I have started talking to myself to calm myself down.  I don't care if people think I'm a weird western woman.
6.  Find humor in it all.  Allow yourself to have the experience...with a new situation, with a stranger that just wants to practice his English with you...let it happen.  Though it feels like it, not everybody wants money from us.  A smile can really disarm people.


Namaste,
Jenn